“photography of broken door near room” by Alexis Montero on Unsplash

The Truth Of My Realization

Realizing you were toxic was like

Cutting an organ out of my own flesh

And watching ebony poison drip from it.

But extracting my soul from your orbit,

Was more like tearing myself from the

Lifeblood I had been sipping all my life.

Cleansing my heart of your control

Was like walking down the hall of

My childhood nightmares, seeing

Your face in every single one.

Cleansing my heart of your control

Was like throwing myself over

And over again to the wolves and

Combing through the shreds in a

Desperate search for purity only

To find charcoal staining my fingers

After every piece. And in those

Dreams I always come to realize

In the end, they’re all infested with

The ghost of you.

“person standing in front of concrete building” by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash

But discovering you were arsenic in my mouth

So soon after I let your reformed heart into my life

Was the part that mattered. The part that hurt.

Slicing the stinking fat off my rotting heart

Was more like seeing the black soul in you

And knowing it had seeped under my skin.

Cleansing my heart of your control

Was about the hardest thing I could have done

Because maybe I’m just that weak, nothing

But a bunny bounding into the hunter’s trap.

Cleansing my heart of your control

Was the moment I see a home on fire

And walk away, walk away, walk away.

Until there’s nothing left of me to speak of,

My heart sees in you something it truly

Believes it can save and then I have to

Shed the old skin, break out of the old shell

And find a new shelter to hide away in.

Cleansing my heart of your control

Was even more of a searing scar than the first time.

“grayscale photo of person standing inside building” by Erik Müller on Unsplash

Thanks for reading this poem about a toxic relationship, I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know your thoughts, especially if you could relate to it.

…BRD…

I write poetry, prose, and personal pieces. All images are mine unless indicated otherwise. Feel free to leave feedback on my work anytime; I hope you enjoy.

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