I was laying bed, in a trance

“Get dressed,” you barked

Then drilled into me four more times

When I hesitated before you got me

To realize I had no idea

Where my clothes were or what had happened

So I realized that something had to give

And that something was never going to be me

But it really wasn’t going to be you

All I do is give… All you do is take

So I’ve got to purge, time to get you out my system

You see, I’m in the middle of clearing my history

And it’s been months now

Months and months of back and forth

Months and months

Of missing you

Of hating you

Of wanting you

Of loving you

Of forgetting you

Of remembering you

Of letting all that cleared history slip out of my fingers

And that process did something to me

Like a dragon changes a person

So now that I’m clean, I’m never going to risk it

And you say now that I’m stronger, we can talk more

But that’s like saying an alcoholic should

Show off all this progress at that old favorite bar

Like saying a junkie should go visit

A school, a prison, an ex (spot the difference games)

But now that I’m clean, I refuse to risk myself again.

Thank you for reading.


I write poetry, prose, and personal pieces. All images are mine unless indicated otherwise. Feel free to leave feedback on my work anytime; I hope you enjoy.

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