I was bleeding out, a crimson stain on a cream carpet
With a hand under my sweater you kissed it better
And still, you looked at me like I was precious.
At that moment, all I could think was, “I’m done for.”
Because to love someone is never a safe endeavor
And I don’t do well with those risks that take all of me.
I thought I knew you well enough, I guess you never know,
I guess when you open your soul like a canvas waiting
For another person to paint in new colors- it shows.
If I believed in wishes coming true, I’d want one thing-
To stand hand in hand with you and stare at the stars.
Point out Mars and Venus to me, and show me again-
Remind me there can be more to this life than fighting
And don’t forget sometimes you’ll have to fight for me.
Hold on to the map of the grave you pulled me out of
In case my demons go and dig it up again- you don’t need
To save me, you never will, but you can do it anyway.
Lucky for me, you seem to relish heroism like the role is yours
When I showed you the place where I became this,
A crinkled paper doll covered in scars from illicit affairs
I never expected you to become an eraser just for me.
I didn’t think healing was possible, not for the innocent,
I thought scars were evergreen, because how could I not?
Love certainly doesn’t drive the long haul for girls like me
But here you are after 1000 years, still right here- Why?
Where did my heart turn off the highway to Hell,
How did I end up cozy in your passenger’s seat to Heaven?
If you ever left me I don’t think I’d mend but I heal all over again
When you give me that smile, I think I’d give you anything
You can go ahead and burn my whole house to the ground
I live in your heart, right where there used to be an emptiness
I keep doing my best to erase it. I’m sorry I can’t do better.
What does a child of war know of healing? Nothing at all,
But I know you, I know the sun pales in comparison to your face
I know I’m so lucky it’s wild to imagine your arms around me
Keep giving me your late nights, your Sunday mornings,
And ever so often a stroll down the street and soon enough,
I’ll have enough of myself back to Love your emptiness away.
I tried to be everybody’s friend and no hands reached back
Until I stumbled blind into a golden heartbeat I recognized.
For that once in a hundred lifetimes, I knew how to be.
I’ll be your angel all in black, your suburban dream gypsy,
Your unbroken smile and your cure in secretive politics
When you’re back on your feet, I’ll sweep you off them
Happily ever after can live on the screen just for you and me,
Happily ever after can be a palace made of stars, and “us”.
We can have a marvelous time going around ruining everything.
All of this time, I walked the fine line of breaking branches
Because when I crashed down to exile, there you were.
There is no amount of crying I can do to erase where I’ve been
Thankfully, every tear falls like magic into your waiting hands.
I’m bleeding in love, and I’m dancing like you’re watching.
Thanks for reading this little poem of mine (I actually wrote it based off of another I’d previously written for Makata Collections, which you can find here). I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, stay tuned for more like this in the next few weeks, or just check out this one: