I was hurting every second of the day
But since you came it’s felt sort of easy
And I don’t want to go without your words
In my ear in the mornings when I’m not alone
I don’t want to go back to being silent and
Ignored and never, ever seen. Now that you’ve
Come, and seen me, all I can do is wonder
What I’d do if by some cruel twist of fate I didn’t
Have you in my life anymore. You with your humor,
With your sweetness, with your understanding,
And with the way you’re here to share… I can’t
Imagine what would happen if you left me just
So suddenly as you entered my life
With one door thrown open. All my windows
Were boarded but Then there was you, oh you.
You look the kind to play me like your first guitar,
Slam me like a drum stashed under the garage
But you made my strings sing like my violin
And now I’m left remembering how much miss
My days of being myself at home with just my music
One concerto after another, and I felt alive whenever
I saw your face or heard you call. Because you know me
And you notice little things every day because you care.
And it’s so revolutionary to me that you care. But you care.
Sorry if I’m bad at this, it’s pretty new to me and it doesn’t
Help when I’m expecting what I’m used to and you decide
To be a perfect gentleman instead, I’m off my guard
And you like that, you think it’s funny when I’m flustered
And blushing and one big mess because you like to know
That you see me as I am and honestly I wouldn’t have it
Any other way. I know You and my best friend are trying to
Figure out where you stand but you don’t know how she feels
And you don’t know how I feel cause she and I have talked
This over. We’ve talked about this. About you. In the quiet times
When I was breaking down or when I stood atop the world,
Your goofy smile, your jokes, and your big eyes that I never
Noticed were as nice as they are (until now) have held your own,
Yes, your very own place in the front seat of my crowded mind.
I don’t what am I do and I have no idea what are you thinking
But, hey, you’re the best part of my day. I miss you already.
Where you were you all throughout my past
When all I needed was your sweet laugh.
There were years before now but I don’t think about them,
Because I refuse to dwell on what it was like before you
Came along and took my world by storm. One day at a time.
Though I knew you, I never knew you before. I think I do now.
You’re strong to surprise and brave enough to take me on
And, my god, you’re so funny even I’m not witty enough for you.
I’m not good at this! But, hey, I like that.
I told you once before I wanted to find someone who cared about me
The way you cared about your bowl of crab legs and was as
Generous with me as you were with just about everyone
And you shrugged, telling me it didn’t cross your mind that you
Should have just replied that what I was looking for was exactly you.
I’ve never told you this before
But you built feelings in my core.
Thanks so much for reading this poem. It was partially inspired by Jazalyn (who’s an amazing poet with a style I’m such a fan of) and named after Jamie from The Last Five Years because the soundtrack is stuck in my head. I know I don’t typically explain different facets of a poem like this, but I wanted to share the details with you. For more like this (as well as short stories and personal essays on mental illness and sexual harassment) you can visit me here or check out my most recent pieces:
A poem describing the nature of a very common emotion.
I Don’t Find It As Funny As You Do
(Note: “E*** N***** indicates the initials used to represent an individual this poem describes. The initials do not…
A poem describing what I went through that hurt me.
A poem about family that comes from the depths of my heart. (PS I appreciate all the feedback, both private and public, that I’ve been getting on it.)