My insecurities are hurting

I’m clinging to the truth

Because I’ve missed it

And all the while

I won’t open my eyes

Refusal. Denial.

Praying to be taken under

I’m trying to scream again

But the words have drowned

I don’t see myself as alive

But I still wonder to this day

If I’ll ever find some life left

I could have a preacher

A lawyer. A doctor.

A stranger who understands.

But I’ll still peer down the other road

I have always been drawn

To silence among mayhem-

That miraculous strength like no other

And Ill spend my days running

Until I get to that place

That comes with polished locks on every door

I can never see the softening grays

As I struggle though the blotched our haze

But you don’t want to hear my truth

So I cling to my own truth,

The only thing I want and the one only one who wants it

I get so confused when I ponder solutions

Because my brain is tainted with pollutions

Do I look contaminated to you

The way I seem to the others

The ones who made me a break in the chain

Rather than find me guilty of humanity

What do they know

It seems most of them think a basilisk lurks in my eyes

And it doesn’t hurt to be alone anymore

But being five steps ahead of loneliness

Doesn’t shield me from my old wishes

So today if beggars ride that can be my fault too

I may not be immune to resentment

But my shoulders are broader than my life

So you see, in truth, there’s a lot going on with me

But I’m strong enough now to handle it all

And at the very least- I’m honest these days

I cling into the truth like its hourglass leaks the precious rarity- sands of who I am

A bub burden for something independent

A big burden.

3–23–18. 12:32 AM.

Photo by Lionello DelPiccolo on Unsplash

I write poetry, prose, and personal pieces. All images are mine unless indicated otherwise. Feel free to leave feedback on my work anytime; I hope you enjoy.

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