I tried to eat today

Now I’m paying for that ambition

I’m so numb I’m a statue

I want the bathroom tiles to break

The pillows are soaking wet today

I’ve lost everything that could matter

What’s the point anymore, tell me

I can’t make my soul come alive

Because it’s already begun-

That tried and true feeling that

The end has come to sweep me away

And I feel nothing at all

The water can’t burn my face enough

The sears are like ice, ice just like me

And I have nothing to force me forward

There’s no point to my existence anymore

If this is all that sees me through my days

The nights keep getting hotter, and brighter

But even that isn’t enough to keep me going

There’s so much time stretched in front of me

So much more I’ll have to stack onto my burden

Before I get the chance to drop it, piece by piece

What is the point, I scream out into the void

What is “purpose”, I shout into the abyss

Am I still not worth that much

I’m sorry for the failures I’ve brought with me

I’m sorry for the wounds I couldn’t shield

I’m sorry for the girls who came before me

Am I still not good enough to feel like a person

I tried to be myself, but no one is letting me

Where is the color for this painting I made

The colors evaporated, all I see is beige

The squares of brown are running at me,

Blades ablaze but I feel no more

I’m not worth that pain, I don’t even feel anymore

At least we know that I tried, didn’t I?

Photo by Seth Doyle on Unsplash

As always, I want to thank you for reading and leave with some more pieces to check out:

…BRD…

I write poetry, prose, and personal pieces. All images are mine unless indicated otherwise. Feel free to leave feedback on my work anytime; I hope you enjoy.

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