Are you out to get me?

Is it because you see my strength?

You’re not my heart-taker;

Am I your heart-breaker?

Because sometimes we’re both fakers-

When the light of day hits,

We never know what truth is.

I keep on messing with your head,

You keep on messing with my head.

Doesn’t it always feel like we’re two loners

Who keep forgetting to listen when we talk?

“white neon light signage on wall” by Jason Leung on Unsplash

How do you fall in love?

How do you fall apart?

Choke out one last breath, run along,

You’re running me like a river.

Am I ignoring a slow loss of myself

When I think I’m waiting for your love?

Dying for one more second glance,

When I’m dying for a touch of your love.

I found me insane in the mirror, I was so blinded,

Tattered remains, but somehow I didn’t mind it!

It only hurt when you turned your back,

It hurt only when I found your silence.

In the silence, don’t you discover what I did?

Can’t you hear it? That silence is where we drown.

Sometimes violence, she makes no sound.

When it really hurts, when you hurt me it’s

Just a fleeting shadow in the empty darkness.

Is it the darkness in the silence that devours me,

Or is it the silence in the darkness that makes an end?

Photo by Sasha • Stories on Unsplash

My patience is paper thin, fragile

As those promises broken again,

Smoke back then, fire now, it’s all going to flare up

I wonder if you know I’m willing to shed a little blood?

Mark an X across my fresh and vulnerable chest,

But I’m still standing and there’s no way I forget

I had a dream where you and I were talking again and

I’ve been wanting to tell you where my truth is,

But it’s buried down inside. Shining light, show and tell

Don’t be scared, please don’t be scared, but remember

Sometimes the truth you’re searching for is buried in hell.

Down we go… so far down we might just have to stay,

But don’t you worry about a thin, no you make me worry…

No one ever needs to know where we fell. How we fell.

They say that secrets make you sick and I should know,

But no one warned me love can sicken me just as well

And now I’m swirling down the drain of this sick trap.

I’m sicker and you hold me down, so sick, so down…

Why won’t you let me let my withering demons die?

Why are you and I so close, why be slaves to this obsession?

You calm my truth in your beautiful, the worst way,

Through the circling bonds of a broken smile I can’t turn down.

So, I’ll keep retracing the steps we’re taking,

And you’ll keep on looking at me like it’s alright.

Oh, glory, glory and all of a sudden I think I might be a believer!

“woman floating above body of water” by Piotr Wilk on Unsplash

Do me so dirty I could wonder if you don’t even know me,

Do you see how it’s so easy to make your mark?

Make my sacred heart your sacred heart a church of scars!

That’s hallowed ground, don’t you see the halo?

You don’t break my skin or crack my skull,

But you’re like a tree, growing off my sun

And I must admit this shining soul cannot be sold.

Funny how fallen blessings turned into a vex and a hex!

Bad love hurts but good love is what really burns.

I wonder if I’m mistaking honey for the bees, is it honey, honey?

It’s so thick I can’t swim, so I’ll sink in you like rising water,

And then I remember too late to pray you won’t pull me under,

But I hear your voice again, and I dive in you like shallow water.

“body of water” by Cristian Palmer on Unsplash

Tell the truth, I’ve been wishing you could keep me safe.

There’s more pain in love than in the torture on my face.

If I hand over any more of me, you must be gentle with me

But in the meantime, I beg you, do your best, be patient with me.

Oh, did you figure out that I’ve been living in the dreadful corner

Of my mind that tells me I cannot possibly be enough for you?

So give me that reassurance that lately it seems only you can do.

You know I need you like water. And I sink in your stone like water.

I sink for you, and I burn for you until you turn away.

Ashes in the cold, now I’m running for the fire.

For a while, it seemed you were ready to give me love,

But it was only me acting the fool, swallowed up.

I’m only a fool, I’ve lived a strange life, did you know?

In my days, I’ve been a devil, and Lord knows I’ve been a saint,

And I was hoping your heart could help me,

Help my cold heart change. And now

Here I am, I’m running, I’m running for the fire.

We’d build a castle if we had the time,

We’d sit by the fire if we were that free.

All the time, slipping away, freedom out of reach,

Like your hands holding me close, it’s killing me.

Isn’t a part of me begging for sweet mercy,

Don’t I see shadows forgiving your ghost?

Say that you want me, just one of these days.

We’ve built a fire, now can we feed the flames?

“lightened candle on glass” by Anthony DELANOIX on Unsplash

Let me know, oh, if your intentions are numb

As my cold hands with blue-gray tints.

Whispers are dangers, don’t hold your tongue,

Tracing the stitches in a once-broken heart,

I’m still searching, but all I need is a wisp of grace.

Say that you want me before these feelings fade.

If you wrap your fingers around the key to my heart,

Know that I may ask your hands to foster my pain.

Because it’s silence and it’s darkness that brings the end.

Thank you for reading this poem, I know it’s longer than I usually publish here I hope you enjoyed the story it tells, so let me know what you think about it.

…BRD…

I write poetry, prose, and personal pieces. All images are mine unless indicated otherwise. Feel free to leave feedback on my work anytime; I hope you enjoy.

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