Everything was so beyond wrong
We still don’t know if we’ll ever set it right
But we were young and wild and free
And once in a while we felt that old spark,
The one that said the best is yet to come-
If Depression conducted traffic
The way it controls most other things
People wouldn’t judge my driving nearly as much
You see, it’s not me. It’s Depression.
But I can’t use that as a valid excuse-
Honestly Officer, I didn’t do anything,
Depression was behind the wheel all along.
Depression is a teenage cry for attention,
Not a diagnosis that garners sympathy casseroles
Even though I didn’t eat last weekend
Cause I couldn’t get out of bed for the life of me.
If Depression managed medication
With all the strict precision with which
It regulates chocolate cravings maybe
My body wouldn’t…
I will love you in the pouring rain,
See you down streets glimmering,
See you as an adventurer set free.
I’m sorry I can’t bleed beautifully
Or paint you the prettiest pictures
Like all your other dreamy lovers do
For what it’s worth, I have unrivaled expertise
In the art of quieting worried hearts
So every moment can be savored,
Just one puzzle of piece of thousands
Like a heart as infinite as my hunger for knowledge of it
And I can learn to love anything at all-
I can be a miracle beyond words for you.
Passing by an old brick building on a slow road
I almost laugh to think the last time I was there,
I thought I’d found who I was supposed to be
When I barely knew how to do anything more
Than stay quiet and stay out of everyone’s way.
I told my old soul sisters I’d see them soon
But I haven’t seen those pieces of my heart in a while.
TW: sexual assault
At the party you press me against the wall
Your tongue is an invader more than an inquirer in my mouth
My dress is too tight, my dress is too short
I don’t remember how I got here, I don’t even want to.
It’s been about a year of stolen glances
But I never thought you would go so far
Except that one time when maybe I thought-
But no, now I can’t think at all because you’re like a dragon
Shooting fire down my neck. Why can’t I breathe?
Rosalie double-checked her reflection for the tenth time and reapplied her lipstick. She had a feeling the night to follow would be important for her and she wanted so badly to make it perfect. She’d even worn a skirt for the occasion, something she hadn’t done since the night she was desperately trying to forget about, not that she remembered it very clearly anyway. But she remembered enough to torture herself and she was really trying to get over that. Tonight was the perfect time to get over it- Will’s birthday party. His birthday was a Saturday, but he’d decided…
I see you in dated Polaroid frames chasing after a new girl,
Younger than me and prettier than me, her eyes sparkle
And thanks to you, mine carry the weight of a soul’s death
Her smile screams I have nothing at all to be insecure about,
Not a worry plaguing my heart- you’ve yet to snatch from her
All the happiness, the hope, and whatever else you stole from me
A blink of an eye later, it’s like you never waltzed through my door
So right now I’m sitting all by myself just like I always wanted
But I still…
With the grace of a queen
My mother lowers her creaking body
Into the same old wooden throne
At the same old kitchen table
Just a second later she sighs,
Breathes heartbreak the color of the ocean
But somehow it fades to gray
Invisible tears fall on unforgiving cement.
With a hand resting over her stomach
She hovers as always, the best of mother’s do
She breathes in the lilacs, violet, lavender
When promised herself the cancer wouldn’t win
She didn’t anticipate victory taking so much of her
This precious thing no longer a part of her
Out of use…
Long nights I spent with forever at my feet
And the knocker at my fingertips
I couldn’t close the distance, I was too scared
Of your door. I know you never want to see me again,
And I’m alright with that, I swear I am.
Sometimes when I think of you, I recall
Every second with you was me begging
For what you were never willing to give.
And I’m finished with it. So forget me,
Forget the promises I made to you,
I will not spend the rest of my life
Searching every pair of eyes in the room
I was bleeding out, a crimson stain on a cream carpet
With a hand under my sweater you kissed it better
And still, you looked at me like I was precious.
At that moment, all I could think was, “I’m done for.”
Because to love someone is never a safe endeavor
And I don’t do well with those risks that take all of me.
I thought I knew you well enough, I guess you never know,
I guess when you open your soul like a canvas waiting
For another person to paint in new colors- it shows.
If I believed…
I write poetry, prose, and personal pieces. All images are mine unless indicated otherwise. Feel free to leave feedback on my work anytime; I hope you enjoy.